In a movie where you get to see James Bond fall headfirst into a river, watch Monica belucci get her head shot off, and observe Javier bardem turn his face inside out, and yet the most visceral, most haunting part of this whole dang movie is being told a story about rats who eat each other.
The story is old pest control folklore. According to the bad guy, if you leave rats trapped in a bucket they’ll eventually eat each other, and when you have 2 rats remaining you can let them free on your island community and they’ll hunt and eat other rats because they have the taste for it.
It’s my favorite part of this movie. It’s a cool moment because in the lead up, you think this is classic James Bond villain monologuing and intimidation. But then the bad guy straight up says “me and you are those rats, James Bond” and then you realize the whole story was actually a come-on. I know this because I also flirt by asking women if they want to go psycho rat mode with me.
As an aside, the choice to make James Bond’s villain gay for him is so awesome. There’s a couple times in this movie where you realize the whole plot could’ve been avoided if James Bond had just been willing to let a man suck his dick for once in his life. It’s a cautionary tale regarding English homophobia.
Back to the matter hand, though. As with all “one weird trick” solutions proposed to solve pest issues forever, you have to ask yourself: if this works so well, why haven’t I heard of everyone doing it?
Unfortunately, despite being a really good pickup line, breeding insane cannibal rats doesn’t actually work in reality. I wish it did.
Rats will definitely eat each other when they have to, but they really prefer not to, because they’re social and they love each other. As soon as you let your two insane gay rats out of the bucket I promise they’re going to go back to eating all your nuts and berries. Except now they know to avoid buckets, too.
If you’re really committed to this idea, though, of a mentally unwell, small, rat-like creature being let loose on an island to search-and-destroy all rodents with extreme prejudice, I have great news for you.